Gotcha November 15, 2010

I don't even know how to start this post. We got here around midnight and unpacked. We finally hit the hay around 4 am. We had to be up and at 'em at 9 am. It was not that hard to get up! My stomach started in with nervousness. I don't really know why but I was a ball of nerves. We left for the BH at around 11:30am and arrived around 1pm which is lunch time. I could hardly stand myself. I was ready to see her!! When we walked in she kinda looked at us like, hmmmm. Then just kept eating and finally when all of the other kids were running up to us when they were done, it clicked hey that's MY mama and papa.

We cleaned her up, visited with the other kids and then we went to give the caregivers their gifts, changed her, said our goodbyes and that was it. She walked in to the potty room where all of the other kids were and said Paka Paka and strutted out like she had done it 100 times. She let Daddy carry her out and we were on our way. I didn't fare very well. Saying goodbye to the children left behind was SAD! I was bawling like a baby and I was trying not to let her see me. I stood way back with my glasses on and took the pictures. On the ride home she yelled at all of the "machinas" that we saw and then about half way home, she fell sound asleep in my arms. It was AWESOME to say the least. It took Haven months to get to the point to fall asleep in my arms and STAY asleep.

We got home, I gave her a bath and she screamed like someone was killing her. I hurried as fast as I could but yuck she was dirty. I scrubbed and washed and got her out and she snuggled in tight. We spent the rest of the day playing. She is a good girl. She listens, she kisses, she hugs, she told me when she had to go potty, seriously can she be this easy? I am praying that she is just easy going and never has to grieve but we are prepared for that.

We had Yarik and Ilya (Ayman's son and husband) come over for dinner and to play. She did well with Ilya and ate her supper and drank her milk just like a big girl. She didn't even inhale it which I am very grateful for. I let her stay up until almost 9 just so she was nice and worn out. It worked out pretty good because I laid in their with her, rubbed her belly and she was out in 2.2 minutes. She never batted an eye! The whole time I was in there with her I cried silent tears down my cheeks thinking about how she has never had someone tuck her in for 3 years now. She has never had a mommy or daddy to love her, kiss her, rub her belly. It was good to have a great cry about it. Hopefully I can stop grieving for her. (For those of you that have adopted older children, does the pain of what she has missed out on, go away- for me not her?)

Well goodnight from Kaz, I better sleep while I can.... Hugs and Kisses from Almaty!!!